I think, you never escape depression. It's sturdy hands would choke your throat anytime in your life. The rugged hands have the supreme capability of killing your mind and body. It would make you feel frail and muted. You feel that you alone are the most worthless unlucky dust on the earth. You wish you could just disappear from your current life forgetting your past and wrecking you future. All the time this monster just keep scaring you. And then you are not even able to end your life at your wish. You lose your energies. You keep thinking and thinking. The mind wanders into forbidden pastures. Tears are there, not just on your eyes, they are their on your mind and soul. All accumulated but blocked, failing to come down.
The thought that you have to live this life, though you have no wish or energy to take it ahead, is so difficult. A life to be lived which keeps killing you within. I feel so scared today that I have to live this life all alone. With none nearby. It makes me so scared and timid at times.
I wish I could have at least a cry and get the monster away. But in vain. I'm feeling so helpless.
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