The Liar

But you vowed infront of Lord that,
                      all our journey would be together.
Now, is not unfair that you leave me alone on earth?

So, I call you the biggest of all liars!

My love for you

I do not need your love back to love you.
I just need me for that.

ഒരു നാൾ ഞാൻ നിന്നിലലിയും

നാളെ,
ഇരുപുഴകളെങ്കിലും നാമൊഴുകി ഒരേ സമുദ്രത്തിൽ,
ഒന്നായി ചേരുമ്പോൾ,
ഈ പ്രകൃതിക്കു പോലും എന്നെ തടുക്കാനാവില്ല.
എന്നെ നിന്നിലലിയുന്നതിൽ നിന്നും.

He moves out

Mr.D. moved out of house on Saturday. Though I have asked a time period of six months of staying away, he said "As you said two months of separation I will stay away for two months." The point is that, he wants to take Maria to his hometown during Christmas holidays for his niece's baptism. 

The wonder is that he still believes that there is some point in continuing this marital relation. According to him, reconciliation is possible. But, my question is, who has to reconcile here? He or Me? The sad answer happens to be Me. That is I need to forget, forgive, and continue this relation so that they would their current luxurious and easy going life ahead!

After Mr.D. moved out, no one called me, though Amma and my brother were aware that he is moving out. No one called me till day to ask about my state. Yesterday I then called Amma, to check if I can book her tickets. Then she asked if Mr.D. has moved out. And, not surprisingly, she is hesitant to come and help me out.

I do not, why the Universe(or God) has created my life this way. To be lonely by birth is what I have undergone. These are one of the most difficult stages of my life. Still, even the womb that carried me seems to not to be concerned of my state.

Thoughts

എനിക്കെന്റെ മുഖം സുന്ദരമാക്കേണ്ടതില്ല
എന്റെ ശരീരം വടിവൊത്തക്കേണ്ടതില്ല
എന്റെ സംസാരം മധുരതരമാക്കേണ്ടതില്ല.

കാരണം, എന്നെ തിരഞ്ഞു വരാൻ ആരും ഇല്ല.


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Of late, I realised that,
             I do not need worry about
                          my dry skin, chapped lips and dark under eyes.
             Nor I need to worry about my heavy body.
             Neither do I need to talk and walk attractive.

Since, I have no one to come in search for me.

I Envied People

I envied people who are being loved.
                          who have someone to love.

I envied people who have been mothered and fathered.
                          who had siblings.

I envied people who have shoulders to lean onto.
                          who have helping hands at their service.

I envied people who have people to talk to.
                          who have hearts to listen to, around them.

I envied people who can laugh, smile, cry, shout.
                          who have desire to live long.

I envied people who believe in miracles.
                          who have met with miracles.

And, as I look back, I realise that I have been envying people all long.