Marriage Blissess!!

The first day at Mr.D.'s house was eventful. Annakkutty's gold (hey, that's a huge amount in south Indian families), was taken over by father-in-law. Mr.D. took the full responsibility of safely handing over Annakkutty's gold to his father. As and when Annakkutty wanted it, she just need to ask (beg) for it. They will give it to her provided that it is handed back to them. But, there is also a catch, on what Annakkutty will wear. They decided which ornaments Annakkutty should wear from the collection that they have taken away from her. Annakkutty got scared. See, for her this gold has been earned by her widow mother and younger brother. It should be with Annakkutty right? Anyways leave it, it's the marital life that matters and not gold. Annakkutty needs to keep quite. Advises poured in.

After a week of bliss at in-laws house, Annakkutty, Mr.D., and his parents came to Bangalore. Another week of stay, Mr.D.'s parents left to their hometown. Annakkutty's real bliss starts now. The first day after parents left, Mr.D. asked Annakkutty for her salary. The reason: Mr.D.'s father has lots of debts and money is needed to pay off it. Why the hell is Annakkutty to pay off that arrogant old man's debts. Did Annakkutty ever know that it was just the beginning of monetary affairs.

The Physical Abuse
Annakkutty started to question the things that she felt unjustified. Why my money is taken? Where is Amma's money spent? Why my gold is not with me? Why are you asking for more money from Amma? The things started to heat up. Arguments arose. Mr.D. always won. Annakkutty felt deceived and dejected.

It was in the third or fourth week after marriage, Mr.D. beat Annakkutty for the first time! For some nonsense reason. Never did Annakkutty realise then that all Mr.D. would is to make up some reasons to beat her up. It took more than five years for Annakkutty to realise this bitter truth.

Mr.D.'s hand raised again and again on Annakkutty. He kept telling her that it was her fault that makes him beat her. Annakkutty was not knowing whether it is actually her fault or Mr.D.'s fault. All Annakkutty knew was that she is beaten up. Annakkutty was slowly falling into depression.

On another fine day morning, over a heated discussion (regarding why Mr.D. is not bearing any of household expenses), made Mr.D. to throw food on her. He was having Appam and Kadalacurry that Annakkutty prepared. A few minutes into heated arguments, Mr.D. just threw the left over food from his plate onto Annakkutty. Annakkutty is wet with the food. She felt numb, a feeling she has developed over the years. She didn't know what to do. After sometime, she came into reality. Yes, someone has thrown food on her. She started crying. She felt like a bitch. She felt like a street dog. Maria came in and saw Annakkutty crying. She told,
     "Ayyo Amma, there is Appam and curry over your body and head." Maria started to wipe them off with her tender hands. Annakkutty called her mother. Mother cried. Annakkutty cried. But nothing changed. But soon, Annakkutty's anti-depressant dosage had to be increased, the doctor trying to keep her life alive on earth.

Emotional Abuse
One major concern Annakkutty raised was that her mother is not welcomed at her Bangalore house. Though at times Mr.D. acted as if he is ok to have her at home, he kept frowning about Annakkutty's mother. First time when Annakkutty's mother visited Bangalore to see her daughter and son-in-law, Annakkutty told Mr.D. that mother needs to be picked up from the station. Mr.D. asked why she can't come on her own. Hearing this a knife went inside Annakkutty's heart. Her mother, a widow, who is coming all alone, can't be picked from the station. Annakkutty questioned Mr.D.'s attitude. She said, that her father has expired and so she cant leave her mother to feel any difficulty. That's it.

     "Never ever try to emotionally blackmail me using the story that your father has died. I hate listening that. What should I do if your father has died." The cruel words daggered into Annakkutty's heart. The heart is broken. The pain surmounts. Annakkutty reaches another world, where only pains and aches exist.

Cruelties mounted up as the days and years passed by. Mr.D. said once that he never wanted to marry a fatherless girl in his life. He also told that he has told his mother many a times that he doesn't want to marry a girl who has lost her parents.

Fatherless, fatherless, fatherless. He kept saying. Annakkutty fell into the valley of orphans. Yes. She is, by all means, an orphan. An unwanted thing on the earth since her father is no more on this earth. Yes she is unwanted. An unwanted dust on this earth. Annakkutty slowly started to think of ending her life. After all, why live this life when no one wants you. You are just a filthy dust. Move out of this earthly life Annakkutty, move out.

There were other verbal abuses too. Mr.D. told Annakkutty that she looks like a kilavi (an aged women), after delivery. He told that Annakkutty has spoiled his life like a hell. He told that marrying Annakkutty was the worst thing ever happened in his life. He told Annakkutty that any women on earth wold be a better mother for Maria other than Annakkutty.

Annakkutty broke. Broke into pieces. She pleaded Mr.D. not to speak this way. She said that she feels like ending her life. She begged him to take care of his words at least. But nothing worked. Words kept on breaking Annakkutty. Breaking into tiny pieces, all aching and shaking.

The Vicious Cycle
Mr.D. was very smart though. Many a times, he did two things in a sequence. He abused her and at times asked pardon. This confused Annakkutty. This made her not to understand whether she is at mistake. Mr.D. also played false promise tricks on her. Poor Annakkutty kept believing him. But when she started to realise the vicious abuse cycle going on, she was already into an incorrigible dosage of anti-depressants.